I wish I could take credit for that word, but my witty husband gets the credit.

So you may have noticed it looks a little different here. I mentioned that my nursing career had ended abruptly in my last two posts. I’m now transitioning to becoming an End of Life (EOL) Doula through a program I started last night. I want to take the time here to explain what that means and how my first class went.

At the top of the page, there is a link labeled Doula. If you click on that, it will take you to the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) website. INELDA is the training program I’m attending twice a week on Wednesday afternoons and Saturday mornings. So what is an EOL Doula? I will be working with clients in hospice to help guide them and their family, friends, and caregivers through the process before and during the death vigil and aiding in processing their grief. There are three phases, Summing up & Planning, Conducting Vigil, and Early Grief & Reprocessing.

So what does this look like? When I first meet the client, we will discuss their primary concerns, such as the time they have left, fears about leaving loved ones behind, and what they’ve accomplished in their lives. This first phase addresses emotions and provides support through projects that honor the patient’s legacy. There is a term called deep active listening. Beyond being fully present mentally and physically, it’s holding space, and your entire body solely focuses on the person in front of you. It can take 15-20 minutes to prepare for this—deep active listening is a practice utilized with each client encounter.

In the second phase, I will help them plan their vigil as they go through the active process of dying. How does the client envision that to look or sound? Will there be music or silence? Who will be present, and where do they want to be? Will this be a celebration of life or a peaceful, quiet time? Do they want to be indoors or outdoors? Once the dying process begins, it will be my place to ensure their wishes are honored. I may explain the signs of impending death and the physical process the body endures. Sometimes guided imagery, touch, or music are used t help guide this process. My previous nursing experience will undoubtedly be helpful.

In the final phase, when the client dies, I will help carry out any rituals, traditions, etc., per the client’s wishes. Assisting the family, caregiver, and loved ones- whoever was directly involved, process their grief is also a piece of the final phase of my involvement.

Doulas do not instruct, direct, suggest, or tell. Doulas are guides through this whole process. I chose the name of my business to Beeloved as a combination of beloved and be loved. The sprout signifies new life and the dirt from which we all sprouted. Bees help new life by pollination. I didn’t want anything that resembled a sympathy card. Welcoming and warmth are what I want people to feel when they visit this site.

I’ll write about my first class in a different post. As always, I’ll remain as transparent as possible. Death is a strange word in our culture. It’s quiet and whispered, not talked about openly. I want to change the narrative by talking about it as I learn more about it.