Monthly Archives: August 2018

The Longest Six Hours

Yesterday around noon, my cohort and I all started to receive emails notifying us that our CNA exam results would be posting soon.     I laugh a little when I see the word “soon” because ultimately some of us did not find out until a little over six hours later. But I digress.

I did everything I could think of to try and pass the time. Have I mentioned I’m horrible at waiting? Seriously, I suck at it. I went for a walk, had lunch, watched some news, messaged some friends. I even ended up taking a trip to Starbucks to use my treat reward and play the latest summer boardgame. Bonus- they were playing 80s music! Winning! Unfortunately, my drink didn’t last as long as I’d hoped and there weren’t very many customers to do some quality people watching so back to square one.

Tip- Taking selfies with the face filters in Instagram does not pass very much time and may end up in embarrassing facial expressions.

Tip number 2- searching for funny pics to out-meme your brother only lasts too long.

I drove home and all of the sudden my text message alerts start going off. Several of them. Something was happening. Emails were being sent notifying us of our results. This was around 4:15. What would turn out to be over two hours later felt like five. At 6:01 I checked the website for results and read the words “Pass” and squealed. The wait was finally over and soon words of congratulations, confetti texts, and fun dance memes flooded our phones. We made it to the finish line and all passed. The relief was palpable. For a few, this will be their career and a noble one at that given how much work goes into it. For the majority of us, it’s a milestone because the next license we will achieve is RN. Checking this off the list felt so good!

For now, we celebrate and enjoy what’s left of summer, put the books away for a few weeks. Some of us will apply for jobs although some are already working in the field. This is license number one out of four for me. The next stop is CNA 2 class which begins Oct 1st and runs concurrently with my other prerequisite classes. It’s going to be a long haul but after some hiking and quality pool time, I’ll be ready to rock and roll. 

 

 

Why Customer Service Matters

***Update- I just received a phone call back from the supervisor and she was very pleasant to deal with. She listened to my concerns and acknowledge this could be a training opportunity and even explained the licensing process to me and congratulated me. I explained that although I had written a letter I’m opting not to send it since she took the time to contact me back the same day, and handled things professionally. This is all it took to make me as a customer, happy with the interaction and renew my confidence. ***

I’ve always been an advocate for customer service. It’s where most my career background is centered. I don’t care what field you’re in whether it’s medicine or trash collection- it matters. Yesterday I happily confirmed I passed both the written and skills exam to be a licensed Certified Nursing Assistant. Yay! Yesterday, slowly but surely the emails started to roll out to my cohort notifying us of our “pass” for our exam.

Today I contacted the Oregon State Board of Nursing to assure I had submitted all the necessary information to process my Certified Nursing Assistant License since my license number had not yet posted. The final steps involved getting fingerprinted and having background checks completed. Since I was completing my final two summer term courses and preparing for finals, I delayed having my fingerprints done which really isn’t a huge deal other than it taking a little longer to complete which I understood. I should first point out that yesterday I called them as well and had a delightful woman go out of her way to assist me in answering an unrelated question.

When I called today I was still floating on a cloud of relief and excitement, so I was appalled by the tone of the licensing representative. We’ll call him Sterculus (I’ll let you translate that. It’s Latin.). Sterculus cut me off, spoke over me several times, and made assumptions left and right. He even went so far as to say, “well if you had checked … you’d have known …” I asked for his supervisor to which Sterculus responded, “OK” and immediately placed me on hold without further comment or explanation and transferred me to an unknown voicemail. Letters went out today to his supervisor and manager in hopes of a result of further coaching so no one else has to deal with this. 

This isn’t a post to bitch or say poor me or even to judge this office who only yesterday had immediately won me over with kindness. It’s to point out that in those few minutes of conversation, he changed my view and broke virtually every basic rule of good customer service; listen, treat the person with respect and never make assumptions. Avoid using lingo or terms that might be unfamiliar to people outside of your field. If this had been a patient and I had spoken to them in this manner or tone, I would have been fired. Hell, I’d fire me.  I’d also miss potential comments that could help me care for them by not listening. I’ll never understand why people go into a public facing position if they hate it so deeply. I get that people have bad days but ya know what? Not my problem. Fake it until you make it. No one can see you frustrated on the phone, making faces, or flipping someone off. Believe me, I’ve been on the other side of that one. They can hear it though if you’re careless like Sterculus. Maybe he was just hangry and needed a Snicker’s bar. One can only hope.

Done Done Done!!

Yesterday I got up, made my coffee, sat at our table and re-read through the skills I’d need to demonstrate just hours later. The night before, my friend and I sat outside at Starbucks practicing, walking verbally through all the skills-so much so that people apparently didn’t enjoy our amusing discussion about perineal  care and brief changes so they changed tables.

After an extensive explanation of how the written exam would be given, we began the 80-question test. It was harder than many of us expected. Make no mistake, we weren’t expecting it to be easy but even after taking a few practice tests I purchased online, it was still challenging. There were several questions that could easily be whittled down to two options, but both felt like viable answers. We all anxiously griped about this as we gathered in an empty classroom waiting for our skills exam appointment time, which thankfully mine was earlier in the day.

The skills are randomly selected.  When my time arrived, I walked into the room that was all set up, sat down and learned my first skill was the longest one. This was good because I got it out of the way. You only have 45 minutes to complete between 3 and 5 depending on how many you get. I had 4 which in the end left me with 7 minutes to spare. I walked through all my skills one by one to assure I didn’t miss anything, let alone something that would qualify as an automatic fail. Nobody wants to walk out and realize this. Picture Wile E. Coyote walking forward not realizing he’d walked off a cliff. That split second, he’s hanging in midair- that’s the feeling. I caught a couple things I missed just out of being nervous, during the skill and was able to correct myself, thankfully.

We all compared notes in terms of who had what skills and tried to think of any mistakes we may have made. It was a gamble writing about this and posting it on social media. Not because it’s any big deal or life-changing event. I could very well fail all or part of this exam and end up posting this publicly. I get a little sick to my stomach thinking about it. But transparency is what draws me to people’s experiences on social media. The more realistic it is, the more accurate the depiction- the better. My study area doesn’t always look like a perfectly organized space. Sometimes there are papers, notecards, and pens strewn everywhere. My notes are not always meticulous (but mostly…). Sometimes they are a mess that only I can read. And sometimes we have bad days, get C’s, and experience failures. The people who are willing to speak up about this stuff are the people I gravitate to. Tell me how you recovered. Tell me how you overcame something that really pushed your limitations. Tell me about the bad day you had where nothing went right, and you were able to put it behind you. I’m putting it all out there.

So now we wait. The Oregon State Board of Nursing (OSBN) will post results in the coming few days. So, for now, I plan to relax and rest. My brain has been on overload this term from everything being so compressed timewise. I need a reset. Walking, sleep, enjoying fresh air and maybe binge-watching a show are my only plans. Hopefully, by my next post, I’ll have some results to share. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to cue up Netflix, enjoy my coffee and chill.

BRB

Very brief update then I’m going offline for the weekend. Summer is officially over and I ended up with A’s in both of my classes. The only thing left between me and summer is the CNA exam Sunday so that’s what I’m focused on today and what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I get test anxiety. It’s a bitch. I’m not gonna lie. So aside from studying, I’ll get out and walk, make sure I get enough sleep and doing the practice written exams until I feel I’ve done enough to keep it at bay. Either Sunday night or Monday AM I’ll post an update. Until then- please enjoy the intermission.

Are we there yet?

In less than a week we have our state CNA exam. Oregon requires that you have a CNA II license in order to work in a hospital so I need to pass it not only to work but to progress to the CNA II class in October so I can work in a hospital. Today my friend and I continued skills practice, going one by one until we’ve hit them all. Each time, we catch things we missed so we can correct each other before we develop a bad habit or worse yet, miss something on exam day. The state exam is a written test in addition to a skills exam which involved performing 3- 5 skills in front of state testers. You have 45 minutes to complete them.

There are things that are automatic fails, such as forgetting to wash your hands or not turning a comatose patient on their side for oral care. They may seem obvious but nerves are powerful on exam day and you can forget the simplest of tasks. This means if you have time left over out of that 45 minutes you want to stop, sit down, and walk through everything so you catch anything you may have missed.

Our class finished over a week ago but the classroom portion where we also had skills practice was probably over a month ago so it’s imperative we refresh our memories. Doing this now with summer and the sun being out, my mom being here visiting- is hard. I’m tired (insert tantrum here). My brain wants to stop (followed by a deep sigh). I want to forget about school for a little while and binge watch a show but I can’t yet (stated in a whiney voice). I feel like the kid in the back of the care persistently asking, “Are we there yet?” every five minutes.

I need to find the wherewithal to keep moving forward and remain focused. In fact, I debated posting tonight because I just plain old don’t have much anything witty to say. But that’s the ebb and flow of this and I wouldn’t be 100% honest if I only posted on the good days. So today I tell it like it is.

I’m done and over summer term (middle finger raises) but knowing this quarter will soon be behind me gives me a push. OK, a shove. I’ve motivated damn it. Much like running a marathon, you have to dig deep. OK- I’m sounding like one of those God-awful motivational pictures you see hanging in some corporate office somewhere. The ones that are framed cheaply and usually involve a graphic that looks like it’s straight off a sympathy card. This is my cue; time to call it a day. I’ll post again before my exam and avoid the Stuart Smalley sentiments.

Why aren’t study forts a thing?

Yesterday marked the last day of summer term. I’d like to say it’s bittersweet. That I’ll miss the classes and routine of study I had the term prior. Yeah, nothing bittersweet going on here. More like good riddance. This term was not fun. Taking two online classes, balancing study time with the CNA course and clinicals that began directly after spring term was challenging at best. My brain is tired and fuzzy. The sponge is full. I need a no vacancy sign to flash on my forehead. No room at the inn. Nothing else is going to fit. The last two weeks especially were the worst. Trying to eek out any ounce of energy to retain what I studied felt like ripping duct tape off my arm. Honestly, that might have been a more pleasant experience now that I think about it. I’d go to CNA class, come home and dive into studying. On the weekends I’d get out and hike earlier in the day and come home and finish whatever studying I had left for the week.

Summer term is not easy because the classes are far more condensed to fit into the shorter time span. The sun is out and the pool beckons. Bars and cafes open their patios. Studying is so much easier with a gloomy day full of rain. During summer anything is a welcomed distraction. Laundry, cleaning out the fridge, scooping cat litter, counting the number of toothpicks left in the cupboard. You see where this is going. It’s a necessary evil though that will give me next summer off of school. That alone was enough to motivate me to the finish line.

For the first time since Spring, we have our dining room table back. I see pictures on Instagram of students studying at a desk against a wall. Pictures are strewn about, embellished bulletin boards. I’m envious of the personalization and effort that goes into making it look so inviting.  I can’t do it. I need windows around me and space. I’m a sprawler. I have enough school supplies to stock a small store and between my flashcards, notebooks, drawing paper, and textbooks etc. -add some lights and I could build a really cool fort. Why don’t we have study forts? I mean how fun would that be?! Bring in some snacks, a thermos of coffee and some pillows and we’re good to go.  Is that a thing? If it’s not it should be (note to self to Google this).

At the end of each term, I clear the table off, put what I opt to keep, in plastic totes. The two leaves to extend it are removed and soon you’d never know there were hours of studying that took place here. This coming week I’ll be visiting with my mom and studying for the CNA exam. It’s the last item to check off my to-do list so my summer and a little time of nothingness can officially begin.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to look into this fort thing.

T-Minus 5 Months and Counting

As my friend and I stood within inches of each other’s faces today, wearing a gait belt and giggling and at our acting skills (or lack thereof) while walking through our CNA skills practice, everything suddenly got real. The fake hospital room, the bed, and the equipment will soon be real patients, real rooms, and actual monitors we will be responsible for interpreting and using to treat medically. I’m not going to lie, a wave of emotion came over me; a combination of nausea, excitement, nerves, and giddiness I can’t explain.

We joke about sliding bedpans underneath one another and make up weird names to get a laugh. And come one, poop and body part jokes are always funny. We try and work through the nervousness of knowing our state exam is approaching, but we know what’s at the end of all of this hard work, endless hours of studying, brief hours of sleep, and countless study group sessions. In less than six months we will be applying into the nursing program along with hundreds of other well-qualified students, only to be whittled down to a mere 125 or so that will be lucky enough to score an interview. A little over half will be accepted and offered a program spot. It’s something you try not to think about, so you don’t throw up but also on the forefront of your mind because A’s are the gold standard and placement is so coveted.

I’m grateful my friend has a sense of humor otherwise we’d seriously lose our marbles. She’s cool as a cucumber under pressure and that rubs off. On Instagram, some of the people I’m following begin the first day of their program in a matter of days so posts showing stacks of nursing books, planners, scrubs, and school supplies abound. The terms “jitters”, excitement”, and “I can’t believe the day is finally here” are tossed about frantically. The emotion is palpable.
In October we’ll begin our CNA 2 class (Oregon requires this certification to work in a hospital). Between now and then I’ll be visiting local Oncology clinics and infusion centers to see what type of work I might be able to do as a CNA 1 to get some experience. I’m not above working in a nursing home but it’s honestly not the environment for me, given a choice. I know what my aim is and would love to get my foot in the door somehow to learn as much as possible in this field and from other nurses. Once my CAN 2 is completed I’ll be applying to the hospitals here or hopefully something in Oncology, but I’d honestly take any experience I can get my hands on. It won’t be easy since it’s not the usual route, but nothing about nursing is. In just 318 days we will depart for Guatemala for our medical mission trip. There’s much to look forward to in the coming months. My eye is on the prize, so I’ll keep trucking forward and keep on laughing at the inappropriate jokes and funny names as much as possible.

The Big C

I’ve been asked what nursing field I want to go into once my ASN is completed and I begin working as an RN while I continue with my BSN. When I tell people it’s first oncology then surgery, I get that look when the word oncology is uttered. Surgery sounds far more glamorous and exciting, much like working in the ER. The look I’m referring to is the, “Oh wow, that would be so hard” or “But you’d have to deal with so much loss”.
I don’t see it that way. In fact, the driving reason for my choice is because it involves developing relationships with patients. There have been great strides made with cancer treatments to the extent that survival rates have increased as has quality of life. That’s not to say there isn’t loss. There are no rose-colored glasses on this face. But there is loss in medicine regardless of diagnosis. It’s a part of life.
A wonderful friend of mine from high school is a cancer survivor. My aunt is living with it, my stepdad is in remission. My husband lost his mother and father to it. If that’s not reason enough to take an interest, right now, my best friend is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. The medical team she has is just as vital as her support system at home, to her healing. She needs to trust that they will offer the appropriate and most effective treatment decisions. She will trust that they will explain what to expect and how she might feel. She will come to lean on the infusion nurses that give her the chemo treatment over the next 6 months, for reassurance. These people she will encounter will become a significant part of her inner circle of people, who will see her at her best and at times at her worst. They will listen as she explains her fear of needles. They will offer her their undivided attention if she has a bad day. They will celebrate with small victories with her when her tests come back showing improvement. This is why my heart is in oncology.
quote
I’m not going into nursing for glamor or money. In fact, I’ll come out with a heap of student loan debt. I’m not in it for the scrubs (although I’m a sucker for anything that feels like pajamas) and the physical toll it will take on my body will be felt for years to come. I’m in it for the side of me that takes great satisfaction in caregiving and for the excitement, I feel about medicine and science. Patients need advocates. They need voices who can speak to their needs because they’ve come to know them, not just their disease.
This applies both in life and at the end of it. If I wanted an “easy” career, I’d have chosen differently. I’m a firm believer in following what drives your passion and that’s exactly where I’m headed.
 
 

Be Joyful and Grateful

Recently I was asked by a fellow Instagrammer (@katybpnp) about my “why” for her “Explaining My Why” campaign. Why nursing? Why the medical field? This is a more lengthy post, but I hope you’ll hang in there with me.
There are numerous reasons I included. There is another biggie though. My close friends know that 7 years ago I underwent what would be the first of three surgeries to repair my back. I had artificial disc replacement.disc Fortunately, it immediately provided relief for the pain I’d experienced for so many years, even after physical therapy, water therapy, steroid shots, and pain medication. At that time, it was determined that I also needed repair for severe GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease).
Rather than undergo two surgeries, I opted to have both done at the same time, being the replacement and a Lap Nissen. -surgery#1 Knowing what I know now about both of these procedures, I would never have made that decision. It was too much for my body to handle and my Vagus nerve ended up being “disturbed” after my disc replacement surgery. This resulted in nausea so severe I could not even hear about or smell food. I went a full month not being able to eat anything or keep anything down. For another 12 months, I was in and out of the ER, had nearly every diagnostic test you can think of to rule things out, and ended up on strong medications to control something I can’t even describe in words. Pain isn’t it. Discomfort sounds too minimal. Nausea is usually equated with something that can be remedied easily like the flu or a bad hangover. Not the case. This felt like death.thin
My potassium levels plunged so I started passing out at home with my blood pressure and heart rate being out of whack. I had severe allergic reactions to two medications, one giving me stroke-like symptoms. I took numerous showers because for some weird reason water was my only reprieve. My husband had no idea what to do since nothing helped. My family tried everything to get me to eat. Popsicles, soup, even Ensure. I can’t look at that stuff without gagging. I had my gallbladder out since one of the tests revealed it was full of stones, so it was thought that might have had something to do with it. It didn’t. Tests kept coming back normal and doctors could not figure out what had happened except to say that my Vagus nerve https://healthline.com/human-body-maps/vagus-nerve had been disturbed. There was no way to determine if these changes would be permanent or resolve. It was assumed at this point that it was permanent or that I had gastroparesis.
While I had some weight to lose, I didn’t have enough to compensate for this much, so I looked anorexic. I ended up losing nearly 70 pounds and briefly had a feeding tube before I met with someone who helped guide me back to health. She wasn’t a doctor, but she knew food and how to get my body to calm the hell down to start over. I had to eliminate everything and begin a whole new way of eating. After 12 months, I was finally beginning to feel like I reached a turning point. It was painstaking and to this day my digestive system is not the same. But just four years later I ran several races and even my first (and what would be my last) full marathon. I got a tattoo not only to celebrate the milestone but to remind me how grateful I was to cross the finish line and overcome what would be the most trying time in my life.running
Between the woman named Skylor that helped heal me and the incredible nurses that helped me with my showers- the ones that saw me at my absolute worst, writhing in the most severe form of nausea and discomfort you can imagine, I knew that was the type of presence I wanted to be for other people; calming, reassuring, patient, honest and get that it’s OK to laugh, even at awkward or darkest moments. The person that will understand when a symptom can’t be put into words or explained. And the person that will not run away from a case that appears impossibly challenging, but rather face it head on alongside you.tattoo

When you love to read but..

Everyone knows that there comes a time in school when you read something you don’t want to. Even if you’re the most avid reader and can plow through a book in record time- when you have to read something you’re either not engaged with or just plain old don’t care about, it’s painful. It’s the slowest time suck and easiest way to succumb to distraction.  Right now I can think of 10 things I could be doing; sleeping, scooping cat litter, cleaning the kitchen, or playing Words With Friends. Yes, I included scooping cat litter.
This is where I’m at with one of my online classes. Pieces of it are interesting but not enough to make me want to read 60 pages of it in one sitting. I’d rather have a tooth pulled.  So to get through it, I divided it up so I can take in a little bit at a time. Not as little as I’d prefer like zero pages for example, but I digress.
This weekend we hiked. I mean really hiked. It was around 8 miles round trip over changing terrain, rolling hills, and provided for some spectacular scenery. You know what a sign of a really good hike is? A “dirt tan”. This is dirt from the path we were on. You know what we did after said 8-mile hike? Went out to pizza. Dirt and all. At that point we were so hungry we just didn’t care. Apparently, neither did the new to us small town pizza joint who treated us like a king and queen.
tan line
That hike made me forget about the boring reading, the disengaging lectures, and “C” on the test last week. Even though I still have around 35 pages of lecture, 5 articles, one chapter, and two term papers due this week- the day to recharge was worth it. I mention that word a lot- recharge. It’s vital and I mean VITAL, to stay sane and focused.  There is always something that needs to be done whether it be work, studying, laundry, etc. You have to stop and step away from things. Today I sat down and studied with clarity. Something I didn’t have last Friday for my exam. Today I stopped and took a walk break. That didn’t happen last Friday either. Today I made a list of my school tasks that need to be completed per my plan, and have started to check them off. Regrouping, as Martha Stewart would say,  is “a good thing”.
hike