I had no idea how I’d feel or react. It was 4:47 as I exited my patient’s room, walked over to a computer at the end of the hall and pulled my phone out. The nursing program email notifications would be sent at 5:00. When I unlocked my phone I saw 120 text messages waiting for me. They read, “OMG I got in!” and “I got in!!!” and “We did it!”. The emails were sent early. I nervously opened my Gmail app and saw it sitting there like a glaring at me in the face. It took me a minute to work up the nerve to open it. When I did, I read the words “Congratulations…” I nearly passed out. It was as if I’d been holding my breath for the past two years. I was accepted into the program for this coming fall. A wave of panic, joy, and fear washed over me as I realized that all the hard work, the stress, and exhaustion had brought my dream to fruition.
The icing on the cake was that my study group- every one of them, were all accepted too. We worked HARD, passing up social invitations, nice weather, and all else to focus on our studies and put the program first. Sometimes it sucked. BIG TIME. Sometimes we wanted to scream. There were tears, moments of utter frustration and prompting us to question whether or not we could actually do this.
My friend made an excellent point as we waited for the news- this path had made us doubt ourselves even though we did everything “right”. We put in the time and dedication, got the grades, etc. Yet we continued to wonder if it really was enough or if we were cut out for this. Every one of us was accepted. That answer is yes. We need to continuously remind ourselves that in the face of fear, being nervous or even scared shitless as some of us- we earned our place and need to believe in our abilities and ourselves on the same level that we believe in one another.
We celebrated last night. My friend and I kept repeating overzealously- “We got in!” as we clinked our glasses together. There may have been shots involved. I’ll leave it at that. We had a moment through all of this to let loose and celebrate what has been a somewhat hellish path to get this far and make it in. In the fall, the real work begins and we know that what we’ve experienced so far doesn’t come close to what is in store for us but we also know that we are ready and for now will relish in the moment to recharge, celebrate, and get ready for whatever is thrown as us next. Bring it!