Monthly Archives: April 2019

A Change is Gonna Come

I had no idea how I’d feel or react. It was 4:47 as I exited my patient’s room, walked over to a computer at the end of the hall and pulled my phone out. The nursing program email notifications would be sent at 5:00. When I unlocked my phone I saw 120 text messages waiting for me. They read, “OMG I got in!” and “I got in!!!” and “We did it!”. The emails were sent early. I nervously opened my Gmail app and saw it sitting there like a glaring at me in the face. It took me a minute to work up the nerve to open it. When I did, I read the words “Congratulations…” I nearly passed out. It was as if I’d been holding my breath for the past two years. I was accepted into the program for this coming fall. A wave of panic, joy, and fear washed over me as I realized that all the hard work, the stress, and exhaustion had brought my dream to fruition.

The icing on the cake was that my study group- every one of them, were all accepted too. We worked HARD, passing up social invitations, nice weather, and all else to focus on our studies and put the program first. Sometimes it sucked. BIG TIME. Sometimes we wanted to scream. There were tears, moments of utter frustration and prompting us to question whether or not we could actually do this.

My friend made an excellent point as we waited for the news- this path had made us doubt ourselves even though we did everything “right”. We put in the time and dedication, got the grades, etc. Yet we continued to wonder if it really was enough or if we were cut out for this. Every one of us was accepted. That answer is yes. We need to continuously remind ourselves that in the face of fear, being nervous or even scared shitless as some of us- we earned our place and need to believe in our abilities and ourselves on the same level that we believe in one another.

We celebrated last night. My friend and I kept repeating overzealously- “We got in!” as we clinked our glasses together. There may have been shots involved. I’ll leave it at that. We had a moment through all of this to let loose and celebrate what has been a somewhat hellish path to get this far and make it in. In the fall, the real work begins and we know that what we’ve experienced so far doesn’t come close to what is in store for us but we also know that we are ready and for now will relish in the moment to recharge, celebrate, and get ready for whatever is thrown as us next. Bring it!

Nursing and Patient Behaviors; Abuse and Harassment. It happens!

Are you squirming in your seat yet? You should be. This is a touchy but important topic because it happens in nursing more often than you think. From the Nursing Code of Ethics, “The nurse practices with compassion and respect for the inherent dignity, worth and unique attributes of every person. ”

What happens when one of those attributes is harmful? The commitment to care remains unwavering. It doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.

Even though nursing tops the list of most trusted professionals year after year, bullying, abuse, harassment and workplace violence inflicted by patients, are noted risks. I’ve been working as a CNA 2 for a few months now and have already experienced a piece of it. While most of the patients I’ve dealt with have been unremarkable (meaning expected patient interactions), there have been a few that were not.

In 2017, The Atlantic reported a “110 percent spike in the rate of violent incidents reported against health-care workers” and a survey indicated that “as many as one-in-four nurses suggested that they had been attacked at work between 2013 and 2014 alone.” If you’ve dealt with patients with diseases that affect the memory then you know kicking, scratching, pinching, and biting are all possible behavioral issues you could experience on the job.

On my last shift, a patient put his hands in his pants and proceeded to reach out and wipe it on my arm, claiming he was “putting his nut sack on me”. After asking him to repeat what he said (after all, I was tired and could easily have misunderstood), he repeated the comment and proceeded to try it again. Thankfully this time I knew to keep my distance. This patient was aware of what he was doing. Some are not. When a patient with advanced Alzheimer’s or Dementia reaches out to pinch or hit, they are not cognizant of what they are doing. Yet both of these incidences are often treated the same. What do you do? How do you handle it?

With memory diseases, I can separate the behavior from the person. They are scared, don’t remember where they are and might think we are trying to hurt them or that they are in a strange place. It’s our job to keep them safe and to make every effort to care for them in a way that doesn’t contribute to their fear and uncertainty. I’ve been hit and cussed at but this patient was reacting in a manner their disease told them to. In no way am I allowing a disease to define who a person is. It does dictate their behavior though, regardless of who they were before it overtook their brain.

Being under duress; the stress of pain, long term illness, or unexpectedly facing mortality, can bring out different reactions from people. Medications can have effects on behavior. When a person knowingly makes a comment about asking for a message or shower when it’s not appropriate, it’s our job to tell them it’s not. As with the patient who wiped his hand on me- I immediately addressed it to put a halt to it, documented it and let the nurse and oncoming CNA know. Instances like this happen more often than you’d like to think in this field.

Workplace violence is on the rise, particularly when it comes to healthcare workers. National Nurses United, the nation’s largest union of registered nurses. is working tirelessly to get legislation in place to help set national standards “requiring health care and social service employers to develop and implement a comprehensive workplace violence prevention plan”. You can read more about their efforts here. The American Nurses Association cites the Bureau of Labor Statistics annual report noting, ” in the health care and social assistance sectors, 13% of days away from work were the result of violence in 2013, and this rate has increased in recent years (U.S. Department of Labor [DOL], Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2014).

What does this all mean and what’s next? Legislation such as the Workplace Violence Prevention for Health Care and Social Service Workers Act (HR 1309), encouraging reporting and internal staff support needs to the standard. If we are to work toward long term solutions, the dialog must be ongoing.

The Interview

I’ve been trying to think of a way to capture yesterday in words while keeping within the guidelines of the interview, which are reiterated multiple times throughout the process; Share too much and you’re application is pulled for this coming year.

For starters, I’m glad it’s over. The questions were not bad or overly difficult. The time frame in which to answer them is the real kicker. You have a very limited number of minutes to show who you are and how you handle certain things. As we all walked out of the interview room, my friend and I let out a sigh (or three) of relief and both nervously joked about how we know we can’t share questions yet couldn’t even remember what they just asked us and only remembered bits and pieces of what came out of our mouths.

The minute I walked into the lobby; I looked around the room. This was some of our competition. There would be two more groups at 11:30 and 1:30. 24 of us all vying for coveted spots in the program. Everyone worked hard to get here and made sacrifices. Everyone was hopeful. It was as though we were in fishbowl of thought bubbles. “Wow, there are a ton of people here!”. “I don’t recall seeing them in any of my classes.” “So many people for so few openings.” “She’s dressed so well, maybe I should have worn…..” “He looks like he has it together.” “Is that an instructor?” “I should use the restroom one more time, just in case. Is there a line? Do I have time?” “I need coffee.” “Shouldn’t have had that extra cup of coffee today.”

As we were herded through the process, it was very organized. There was a lot of instruction and all ears and eyes opened as soon as direction was given. Walk here, go here, proceed to.. The Student Nurses Association officers and instructors were acutely aware of the nerves and anxiety that filled the room and made genuine attempts to calm and reassure us. You could cut the air with a knife. Nearly everyone I met was someone I’d want to be in the program with. These were good people out to prove themselves.

The questions were not overly difficult but the time constraint to answer them was the real challenge. I can’t get into anything further than that, but I will say I walked out hoping I said enough; hoping I said thing in a way that maximized my scores. Did they get a sense of who I was and how I handle things? I don’t know. All I can do is hope. Hope was alive and well yesterday. That was the awesome part of this whole experience. You could feel the anticipation and hope that followed each of us through the lines and into the rooms, and back out the door. It was a shroud that blanketed us from beginning to end. Yesterday would essentially be the beginning of the next stage for some of us or the end of the road until next year, for others.

We all sit and wait for the 8 days, 7 hours and 55 minutes until notifications are sent out April 24th at 5:00 PM. I’ll be at work, attempting to hide in a corner no doubt, as I stare at the email working up the guts to open it and read it.

Stay tuned.

Here we go..

March has proven to be a good month. I managed a B in my microbiology class, thankfully. That is not a class I wanted to repeat. I had my first solo shifts at work and they’ve so far gone really well. I’ve been fortunate to have the best nurses to work with. They took the time to teach, to give me tips and tricks, and get to know me. I really appreciated that. I want most to earn their trust and prove myself. There were a couple of patients that really moved me and I had a few extra moments during my shift to spend with them. This is why I entered this field. It’s a balance of my fascination with medicine and finding ways to connect with patients. Healing is holistic. The mind affects the body and impacts outcomes.

On Wednesday my friends and I got the emails we’d all been waiting months for- the do or die moment. Did we get an interview for the nursing program or not? I clicked on the email, closed my eyes for a brief second and then opened them one at a time to peek. I read the words “Congratulations” and let out a sigh of relief.

I had hoped beyond all hope of hopes to make it to an interview. There is now a chance. You sacrifice time, a social life, sleep and pour your heart and soul into every second of school and you hope. Hope remains alive. I’ll update after the interview whether good or bad in keeping with being transparent about my experience. I’m feeling a little nauseous and jittery full of excitement. People talk about butterflies- I’ve got peranahs eating away at my gut.

Today I had a second trigger finger injection done. My finger gets “stuck” in a bent position and straightening it feels like someone is breaking it in slow motion like one of those Instragram stories. Except this doesn’t have smiling emojis and fun music behind it. More like cuss words – piss and vinegar spew.

Steroid injections are downright painful but can be effective in providing relief. My first one for trigger finger lasted nearly a year before symptoms returned. My hope is that I continue to get relief for an extended period of time. This post won’t be very lengthy because every time I type with my right hand where I had the injection- it’s painful. Like a little ice pick mocking me with every keystroke. For those of you wondering about the steroid injections- here is what they do. Good times.

I’ve had injections for my hips (bursitis is no picnic) and those have proven effective for a few years at a time. All of these things keep me active and moving. It’s a funny thing to be the patient on the other side of medical care. I’ve experienced both many times. It gives you perspective. For me, it lends to a level of clarity I can’t really explain except to say that I know who I want to be and who I do not want to be for my patients. As I gain more experience and learn more within my role as a CNA2, I’ll share more about that perspective. Humor is a funny thing. I mean that literally and figuratively. When you know a patient has a good sense of humor, it’s a wonderful tool. It lightens the mood and sometimes- if you’re lucky- disarms people. During my shift, it came in handy to connect with a couple of people. It yielded a smile from one that had been pretty somber during most of the day. It’s a small victory. They matter.

This next week I’ll be focusing on preparing for the nursing program interview, gathering my thoughts and really digging deep about what got me here and how I plan to move forward. In the meantime- if you are on Spotify and haven’t used the Discover Weekly or Release Radar lists- I highly recommend them. Music is my religion and I make sure to get a healthy dose of it on the daily. Happy listening!