My last two classes have been, what’s the word I’m looking for… fulfilling. Have you thought about how you want to be remembered? We call this Legacy work. This could be something as simple as a letter, photo album, or music playlist or as involved as a book of memories or special mementos given to loved ones.
We talked about end-of-life stages and the signs of imminent death. We discussed grief and how the various stages can weave in and out of the day in no particular order.
How are you living now? Have you compared that to how you want people to remember you? Of course, we had to give that some deep thought. The part I enjoyed the most, though, was discussing rituals. Rituals can involve candles, prayer, poems, readings of various sorts, songs, etc.
Our in-class exercise was to work as a group of five and plan a ritual for a dying person. My group was so cohesive that the 40 minutes allotted for the exercise flew by very quickly. We all agreed we were all sisters, which would be for our grandmother. Someone had an excellent idea to describe each of ours and pull out qualities we felt were most significant. One worked in rice fields and had multiple children. Their ritual in their country was to carry a wooden casket through the town and wail loudly. One always had chocolate coins in her house. One grandmother was Jewish and made Challah bread and blintzes. My great-grandmother always had butterscotch Brach’s candies, dressed to the nines every time I’d see her. I adored her.
We took the main traits; strong, beautiful, hard-working, loving. We approached our ritual as though we were “breaking bread” together. While a playlist of her favorite music played in the background, our grandmother’s loved ones were gathered together in my home. With each bite of a gold coin, butterscotch candy, blintz, or sip of Sake, they would share a memory, and it could be serious or funny. In the end, a poem would be read by one of us “sisters.”
We learned that sometimes the little things- a taste of something, a smell could trigger our best memories. Grief is a whole other topic I’ll address separately. My last class is Saturday. I’m sad about that. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this work, the people, and learning how to make people’s final days meaningful and comfortable.
Once I complete my classes, I’ll take steps to apply for certification, which involves clinical hours and an experienced doula shadowing my work. I’m excited about that.
Finally, I’m researching scholarships to become a certified Touch Therapist. The whole process is not cheap totaling around $3000, so I’m exploring my options, but it would be something I’d love to offer my clients to ease their pain and or anxiety.
I am relishing the moment and knowing I am in the right place doing exactly what I should be doing. Caring for the dying is not easy work. But, it is fulfilling to honor someone’s life and assure they have control over how they exit this world in the way they wish.